Like all emotions, anger is part of the normal human experience. We all feel it from time to time, and it can serve a protective function letting us know when we are treated in a manner that is not aligned with our expectations of others and the world. Righteous anger serves as an indicator that we have been, or we perceive we have been, devalued, undermined, violated, or unsupported. Acknowledging and honouring our anger involves expressing it in a healthy and assertive manner, while simultaneously valuing both our own needs and the needs of others. Anger can be experienced as a burst of energy that motivates us to change things, or can flood our body, leaving us feeling overwhelmed and unable to choose our behaviours.

Anger is not inherently problematic. How we respond to anger however can cause harm to us, or to others. When we respond to anger through aggressive actions, be it physical or verbal, we often exacerbate the situation or the experience of anger. When we become internally punitive, for example calling ourselves a “useless idiot” we may invite shame and self-loathing to sit inside us along with the anger. This can contribute to depression, anxiety, or using destructive coping behaviours. When anger contributes to us behaving in a way that harms the environment or other people we are rarely solving a problem, and are often hurting others and ultimately ourselves as well through damaging relationships and creating more stress and difficulties to manage.

If you are experiencing more anger than is typical for you it may be an indication that there is something else happening. For example, often a symptom of depression is a chronic feeling of irritability. Trauma, stress, anxiety and many other things can also increase the presence of unhelpful anger in our lives.

Life doesn’t come with a manual, and each of us has learnt how to manage the various big feelings we have. Here at Person-Centered Psychology & Allied Health, our team is dedicated to assisting you to understand the factors that might contribute to your anger. From there your psychologists will help you develop skills so you can regulate anger and utilise it as a tool for effective and assertive communication and behaviour change, and reducing regretful aggressive behaviours.